Suck
by CheRyICEE4SheeZy
Summary: Harry is deranged, Remus pays for it. Based on a Nine Inch Nails song.


I don't know if you need a disclaimer or not, so just to be safe, I don't own anything.

If your not old/mature enough to read about adult situations, please DONT READ THIS, and don't send me reviews about my twisted opinion of Harry, I don't need them. This is literature people, Shakespeare wrote about messed up stuff too. 

Remus Lupin stood behind his desk, staring at a folded piece of parchment. He knew it was from Harry, that's why he didn't want to open it. When Sirius died it left harry very lonely and deranged, he drove away his friends by hiding his emotions, but no one really persisted talk with him, for fear he might hurt them. Harry was now one of the three most powerful wizards in the world. He could now kill just by muttering the curse under his breath, and Harry decided to take his loneliness and anger out on him, Remus, he was naturally jealous if Remus knowing Sirius longer, Remus was best friends with James, and last summer, Remus had saved Harry from attempting suicide, his life would be a pointless hell after killing Voldemort, and Harry knew that, and he was mad at Remus for allowing his best friends son to live a pointless hell, Harry thought of it as betrayal, and Remus thought of it as saving his best friends son, and the wizarding world. 

He slowly, cautiously, approached the note, which still lay perfectly folded. That's what he did my last class, he sat there folding the paper, and smiling up at me with a satisfaction of intimidation when I would pass by him. The note read.. 

Remus, I'm coming tonight, be there or I'll make you sorry. 

All to soon the sky faded to a hazy red, and then to a dusky purple. 

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There is no god up in the sky, tonight. 

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No sign of heaven, anywhere in sight. 

I sat in my office, quietly awaiting furthur destruction of my body, mind and soul, when Harry walked in at a quater to nine. 

"Hello Remus, had a nice day?" 

"It was alright" I said shortly 

There was a pause and Harry smiled oddly. 

"Not going to ask how _my_ day was?" he asked me 

"Well, that's o.k, I'm going to tell you anyway...I had a lovely day and, well, it's getting better" 

He came and sat on my legs, his face inches from mine. 

"Do you know why that is Remy?" 

He closed his eyes, waiting a response. I clenched my jaw tight, and squeezed away the moisture building up in my eyes. He looks like James, feels like James. James was alaway there when Sirius wasn't, and when he was. The only difference was their eyes, it killed me to hate him, to hate that face, that body, that was just like my best friends, but Harry knew I hated his eyes and he hated that, but he knew I wouldn't hurt my best friends son, as much as I wanted to, and in any case, Harry would kill me before I could draw my wand. 

"Why is your day getting better?" My voice broke, I knew exactly why his day was getting better, because he was going to use me like James never would have. 

"Because I'm with you Moony, I love you" 

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All that was true is left behind. 

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Once I could see, now I am blind. 

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Don't want the dreams you try to sell. 

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This diasese I can do myself. 

Harry started to take off my shirt. It hurt me more than anything to feel like I was cheating on Sirius, with his death so fresh in me, I sometimes think he might just burst through the door and demand me to tell him what's going on. Harry got off me and pushed me to the ground. I'll be ready for the question this time, the question he always asks.. 

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How does it feel 

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How does it feel 

"Feels like you" I said resentfully 

I tried to pull away, but he said a curse and instantly immobilized me. I started to think of Sirius, I loved him so much, and James, I couldn't hurt his son. I stopped trying to resist. Harry tied me back to something, I didn't know how or to what, I kept my eyes closed. 

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He made it sweeter than the sun. 

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I get to tight, I come undone. 

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I bound my hands to this temple. 

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The walls made of flesh. 

He closed the gap between us now, I still couldn't see him, but I could feel, smell, and sense him. He was getting more aggressive now, ramming into me. I could feel myself bleeding from everywhere. Tears were free falling now, just running down my face. my brain was thinking too much, I just wish it would shut off. 

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It runs up my arms, till I'm on track. 

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It chisels my skin right off my back. 

I can hear him talking, but I'm not paying attention. He's still near me, to close for comfort. He's yelling now, I cant hear he wont let me. I opened my eyes, his eyes were closed, he was biting his lip, he was James, my best friend.I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a few moments, when I opened them back up, his were open as well. 

They were a burning red under the green. He's not James, he's not Harry. 

I'll stay silent this time. 

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Now hear your words I set for you. 

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And Jesus Christ your extasy. 

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How does it feel. 

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How does it feel. 

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"Now Remus, tell me you love me, get down on yours knees, kiss my hands and tell me you love me" 

There was a few moments pause 

"It will hurt less this way" 

I got down and grabbed his hands, I love you Sirius, I love you Sirius.. 

"I love you" I whispered 

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My hands so dirty, on the inside. 

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My hands do dirty, on the inside. 

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My hands so dirty , on the inside. 

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My hands so dirty, on the inside. 

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My hands so dirty, my hands so dirty.. 

He says it again 

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How does it feel. 

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How does it feel. 

"It feels like you, Harry" 

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A thousand lumps 

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A thousand times 

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A thousand thumps 

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A thousand lungs 

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A thousand ways to make it true, I want to do terrible things to you.. 


End file.
